The Way We Get By

In China, I turn heads. Literally. On any given day, I'd say it happens at least five times. Despite my devastatingly good looks, as I walk down the street in my big puffy down coat (i.e. "The Sleeping Bag"), swathed up to my nose in a chunky scarf, I know that's not it. And yet, after five months, it still catches me off guard. Is there something on my face, I wonder. Oh yes, of course--it's my big big eyes, my tall tall nose, my white white skin. Despite that only 2-3 inches of said white skin is showing, people can still quickly pick me out.

What's more irritating is the people that openly point, loudly exclaim, or non-descretely mutter “老外” lăowài--foreigner. The moment you learn the word, you start hearing it everywhere.

While commiserating with some fellow foreigners on the subject, they mentioned their various coping-mechanisms. One friend sometimes reacts by stopping in his tracks, looking around wildly, and exclaiming in perfect Mandarin, "Foreigner?? WHERE, WHERE!! I want to see, too!" Another friend responds instead by pointing back at the person and exclaiming “中国人 zhōngguórén!"--Chinese person! I found this so clever and entertaining that I decided to tuck it away and try it myself.

Today was the day. As I was walking past a bus stop, a young girl (roughly six years old) excitedly yanked on her mother's sleeve, exclaiming “妈，妈，你看！老外!” (Mom, mom, look! A foreigner!") I paused, put my hand to my cheek, and exclaimed, “啊，中国人!” (Oh, Chinese person!) The girl looked rather confused, but her mom started laughing hysterically.

It's the little things that keep you sane. You can't avoid the attention or discrimination, so the least you can do is try to have a little fun with it. Who knows, maybe it'll make them pause next time. Maybe they'll consider that the lăowài might actually speak Chinese.

Who are we kidding, probably not.